Father of the Groom's Speech at Ben and Glenda’s Marriage,
Saturday 24 May 2008.

Today we have been witnesses to the marriage vows and promises taken by Ben and Glenda.  They are non-negotiable, non-transferable, solemn vows.  It is a great step forward for them - an adventure of life and love.  And this wedding, and its celebration, is just the beginning.

Marriage is a wonderful institution.  Some deride it and say, ‘But who wants to live in an institution?’  Nowadays, marriage is under pressure.  Yet despite the fact that it is attacked and mocked and sidelined, seven out of every ten, 20 to 35-year-olds, want to marry.  Here are two such.

And yes, marriage is quite different from cohabiting.  And yes, it is more than just a piece of paper.

MARRIAGE is first and foremost a creation ordinance.  That is, it was designed by God for the benefit of men and women.  It is not some modern arrangement invented by the Victorians, or even the Tudors or Romans.  Its origin goes right back to Adam and Eve.  So whether the ceremony is civil or religious, all marriage has its own uniqueness and dignity, rooted in the mind and purposes of God.

Second, marriage is a public affair, as we today have witnessed.  It is not something done in a corner.  Ben and Glenda have publicly declared their love for each other and made a public covenant to live together ‘until death do us part’.

Thirdly, marriage is beneficial.  Every strong and moral society has marriage and family at its heart.  Furthermore, several recent studies have shown that married couples live longer, live happier, live more healthy lives.  In short, marriage is good for us!

And Wendy and I (and I am sure Jimmy and Ann too) are so pleased that Ben and Glenda have today taken this grand step of life-long commitment together.  And what advice would a father and father-in-law give to the newly-weds?

Simply this – remember that LOVE is the glue and the grease of a successful marriage.  That is, love both holds marriage together, and it eases the inevitable difficulties.  Marriage is not dependant upon possessions, or status, or social climbing, or multiple holidays, or trying to copy celebrities, or any such baubles and tinsel that today’s society prizes so highly.

And what is love?  I shall tell you.  Many of us could give many definitions.  This is God’s definition, which is neither harsh nor sentimental:
 

‘Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.’  [I Cor. 13:4-8].
 

May God grant you both the faith and wisdom and determination to live and love together like this.  And with God’s help, may you accomplish just that.

Glenda – welcome to the Ling family.  Ben – goodbye, as you both start a new branch in the Ling family tree.